Dear insert your name here
by MentalModisha
Summary: PotC, LoZ crossover. Will finds a random shiny orbthing aboard the HMS Cheapskate and insanity ensues from there. Will, Elizabeth & Link are always battling each other for the worshipped gem as Jack writes down every detail.
1. The First Chapter

**Summary: **_Pirates of the Caribbean/Legend of Zelda crossover. Will finds a random shiny orb-thing aboard the_ HMS Cheapskate _one day and insanity ensues from that moment. Will, Elizabeth and Link are constantly battling each other for the worshipped gem as Jack writes down every little detail._

**Disclaimer:** _I don't own Link or any of the PotC characters (Jack, Will, Elizabeth)._

**Warnings:**_ Just extreme randomness that may or may not be apropriate for some adults :)._

**_A/N:_ A very random and stupid story my brother and I made up one day. Has no actual storyline or anything, just a bunch of strange and out-of-nowhere events happening in no particular order.**

**Chapter one...**

_-MM-_

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**Dear (insert your name here)...**

**by _MentalModisha_**

**Chapter I: The First Chapter**

Dear (insert your name here),

Hi. I'm Jack. Captain Jack. Captain Jack Sparrow. Hi. Who are you? I'm Jack. Captain Jack. Captain Jack Sparrow. But I think I told you that already.

I am currently on one of the ships in my fleet—the _HMS Cheapskate_. The _Cheapskate_ is actually a pretty sucky ship. My flagship, the _Black Pearl_, is really cool…only I kinda lost it.

My so-called "friends", Will and Elizabeth, are on the _Cheapskate_ with me right now. Will aspires to be some kind of artist someday, and is attempting to draw a picture of me. I look like a freak. (He isn't quite past the stick-person phase yet). Well I guess I hafta go now. Bye. 

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Dear (insert your name here),

Will, Elizabeth and I are below decks now. Will found something shiny. I ask him what it is.

"It's a pretty orb-thing. I'm gonna take it."

"'Kay," I reply. Suddenly some guy just took it and disappeared.

Will: "Ahh! I gotta find it!"

Elizabeth: "I'm gonna help you look 'cause I want it, too!"

Will: "No way! It's mine!"

Elizabeth and Will are currently engaged in an epic battle, whilst I sit and dictate everything that happens.

_Later _

They fought for quite a while. Will stole my pistol and threatened to shoot Elizabeth. They stood in silence for about five or ten minutes—him pointing at her—her standing there, looking stunned.

Just as Will was about to shoot, that Link guy appeared. He was the one who took the shiny orb-thing! Will dropped his (my) gun.

Link: "I'm takin' this thing 'cause it makes people turn evil!"

Will: "I'm gonna try and take you on, punk!"

Elizabeth: "Me too!"

A three-way battle started.

Link: (picking up my pistol) "Hey what's this gun doin' on the ground?"

Link threw the gun. It hit me in the head. The battle raged on.

I watched as they fought for the precious shiny orb-thing. Link snatched the gem while Will and Elizabeth were both off-guard and disappeared laughing.

Will: "Dang! He got away with the shiny orb-thing!"

Then we realized there were these two big holes in the ship from the battle. We (Will) patched hem up with ease. We went back up on deck and there was a funny lookin' guy up there. He was throwing explosives at us.

Jack: "Great! Just our luck!"

Elizabeth: "I can't see! I can't see!"

Will: "Aw man, after we get out of _one_ predicament, we have to get out another one! We have to abandon ship!"

We gathered our stuff and jumped into the water. Then something dawned on me.

Jack: "Wouldn't it make more sense if we'd just used a longboat?"

Will: "Uh…"

We swam as fast as we could. When we were far enough, we turned to watch the ship explode.

Elizabeth: "Well there goes the _Cheapskate_."

Jack: "Crap…"

Will: Well what do we do _now_?"

Elizabeth: "I dunno…find land?"

Will: "I guess…"

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**_A/N:_ I guess that's enough for now, be sure to check out my LoZ fic _There's a Star in the Sky for Everyone_, and look out for the Star Wars fic _Opposites Attract_...which is _still_ coming soon.**

_-MM-_


	2. Just randomly BLEEDING

**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing._

**Warnings:**_ Whatever it was I said in the last chapter._

**_A/N:_ Just a continued story...sorry (to the very few readers out there) it took so long, though!**

**Chapter...2!**

_-MM-_

* * *

**Dear (insert your name here)...**

**by _MentalModisha_**

**Chapter II: "I woke up and I was just randomly _bleeding_."**

Finding land actually wasn't all that hard. We swam ashore to the nearest island.

Will: "Let's get the orb back from that guy!"

Elizabeth: "Yeah! Let's get it back!"

Jack: "Okay, fine. Whatever."

Link actually turned out to be on the island, by some totally stupid and random circumstance. He was busy killing a Bokoblin or however you spell it for its wooden sword. After he was done, he noticed us standing there. Will and Elizabeth drew their swords.

Link: "I don't think a wooden sword will work, but I'm gonna try anyways!"

Elizabeth effortlessly cut his flimsy weapon in half.

Link: "Dang."

Jack: "Oh yeah, and 'anyways' isn't a word, bucket-head."

Will: "_'Bucket-head'_?"

Jack: "Yeah, you bucket-head,"

Elizabeth: "Shut up, Jack,"

Jack: "Okee-day."

Elizabeth: "Oh, and stop stealing Jar Jar Binks' lines."

Jack: (nods)

Link: "You guys are retarded,"

Link tried shooting Will and Elizabeth with his hookshot. He missed. Will took the orb.

Will: "I'll take that!"

Elizabeth: "No, I will!"

She snatched it. Will took it back. They fought again.

Jack: "Man, you guys! It's just a dumb orb!"

They paid no attention.

Jack: (goes over to cry in corner)

Link: "I rest my case…"

Link shot Will with his bow. An arrow hit him in the arm and he collapsed.

Elizabeth: "Hooray! I won!"

She stood triumphantly atop Will's unconscious body, pumping her fist in the air.

Elizabeth: "Well, that's enough celebrating!"

Lowering her arm, she climbed off and took the orb from Will's hand.

Elizabeth: "Thank-you, Link!" she called.

Link: "You're _not_ welcome!"

Link took the orb from Elizabeth with his clawshot.

Elizabeth: "How much longer will this go on?"

She charged at him, but it was too late. Link had already thrown it into the water.

Elizabeth: "NoooooOOOOOooooo!"

Elizabeth suddenly looked weak. She dropped her sword and fell flat on her face.

After ten minutes or so, I finally decided something must be done about the situation. Sighing,

(I let my butt go wild)

I left my precious, secluded corner. I went to take the arrow out of Will's arm and stuck it in my pocket. I waited for a few hours. Will woke up.

Will: "What in heck happened? Why do I have my sword in my hand?" he looked at his arm. "…and why am I bleeding?!"

He saw Link (who was still standing there after like, six hours).

Will: "Hey, what're _you_ doin' here?"

Elizabeth got up then.

Elizabeth: "Whoa what happened?"

Will: "I dunno. I woke up and I was just randomly _bleeding_."

Elizabeth gave him a Band-Aid.

Elizabeth: "What's this guy doing here? _And where is the _Cheapskate"

Will: "I dunno. Last thing I remember is picking up some kind of orb."

Elizabeth: What's this sword doin' here?"

She threw it away. Link picked it up and put it in his bandoleer. Then Will and Elizabeth ran up to me.

Will & Elizabeth: "What are we doing here? Why is Will bleeding? Where are we? Where's the ship? What in the name of all that is chocolate-smothered and holy is going on there?" …and numerous other questions.

Jack: "Okay, okay! Shut up!" I covered my ears.

Will: "We demand answers!"

Then Link piped up.

Link: "I'd give 'em to you, but it's best I don't."

Elizabeth: "Why?"

Link: "It'd make you evil."

Will & Elizabeth: "_Ohhh…_"

I uncovered my ears.

Link hookshot onto a passing ship and we watched it sail away.

Jack: "Well now what?"

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**_A/N:_ Well, you've had your fun! Review!!!**

_-MM-_


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